Break Bar-baad!

Film: Break Ke Baad

Cast: Imran Khan, Deepika Padukone, Shahnaz Goswami

Director: Danish Aslam

Rating: 0.5/5

'Break Ke Baad' is a painful doctrine on the oft hackneyed subjects of unrequited love and fickle relationship values. You've discussed them at length on your high school stairwells, during your vanilla popsicle and candyfloss days or romance. This film brings back the cliches - unfortunately with a lot of excess baggage in a terrible set of actors, shoddy screenplay and a lack of sub-plots - no wait, a lack of a plot.

Abhay Gulati (Imran), addressed as Gelato in a very Tulu accent by his girlfriend of ten years - Aaliya Khan (Deepika) is apparently a perfectly sorted guy who whines for Aaliya's attention - who loves him as much, but she needs her 'space', and hence flies off to Gold Coast to study some course which she is finally never shown studying. An insecure Abhay follows her all the way to the beaches, where life is clearly all about getting drunk, indulging in beach shack soirees, and liberally using the phrase 'screw you' like immature teenagers.

If this ain't lousy enough, Aaliya Khan gets some sort of brainwave amidst this entire madness, breaks up with a distraught but relentless Abhay, and then lands up a role in an international film from nowhere. Hereon, the already muffled script dies an untimely death with every alternate character preaching respect for relationships and other such trite, which are fought off unabashedly by Aaliya, until she realizes (guess what!) that she still loves Abhay. Play the bugle now, somebody!

Imran Khan suffers from the Benjamin Button syndrome in his performances. He started off well in his debut, and has now completely forgotten whatever little he learnt. Deepika Padukone's dialogue has been annoying enough earlier, but excuse me - the audience is mature enough to know when cuss words like ullu ki pathhi actually sound funny, and when they are shoved in mindlessly. And then, whatever was the director thinking when he left open ends on characters like Ayesha Khan (Sharmila Tagore) and why she was disillusioned by Aaliya's career objectives? If you think Vishal-Shekhar's music might make up for the arid film, think again. They are good, but they can't exactly weave magic. Lillette Dubey is precisely what she is in every film - a pompous, lascivious, over-aged woman who doesn't mind making personal snides on a woman's private parts. And why a notably talented girl like Shahnaz Goswami is made to totter around meaninglessly in the film dressed like an extra large Pina Colada is anyone's guess.

The only high point in the film is that the interval comes to your rescue in well under fifty minutes. While you are there, stack up your popcorn, let out a little burp, wipe your face, and go home.