Kaalo - the parody begins!

Film: Kaalo

Cast: Aditya Srivastav, Paintal, Swini Khara

Direction: Wilson Louis

Rating: NOT APPLICABLE

Once upon a time there was RGV Ki Aag. And now there is Kaalo.

Kaalo is the story (if you may call it so) of a black, spittle-spewing witch - or maybe a crow (you prefer) who has been winging across Rajasthan's deserts since the time you bother to notice anything at all in the film. This Kaalo thing is apparently out to get a little girl Shona who is aboard a bus, and will kill anything and anyone that comes in her way. Kaalo does not know why. Neither does Shona. And neither does the story writer.

All we know is Shona is one among a bunch of very bad actors on a bus called 'Kismat' (yes, that cheesy) that gets a flat tyre in a desert. A certain Panditji on the bus (Paintal) smells imminent disaster and advises everyone not to get off the bus. Needless to say, each and everyone gets off, and then starts getting bumped off by blood-thirsty Kaalo. These buffoons include Aditya Lakhia whose only dialogue in the film is 'Maa ki Aankh', Aditya Srivastav who looks like there is a kohl mine hidden in his eyes, a photographer from Hollywood (ahem!) and one loony who always sees two of himself which he thinks is because he is under the effect of chillum - little does he know we are more jaded than he is and it is all because of this fillum.

Let's cut to the end of the story which occurs ninety painful minutes later. After Kaalo has flung every mortal present in the desert out of orbit, our hero Aditya Srivastav pulls out two chopstick-like objects from nowhere and sticks them into Kaalo's eyes. Kaalo freaks out, some fire erupts from within her gut, and she gets caved inside the earth. There, that simple.

The only thing spoken with conviction in this bizarre film is 'Maa ki Aankh'. Ultimately, we realize that's what the film was anyway all about - 'Maa Ki Aankh'.